I ought to, I should do

Today i thought i would start on my “ought to do list” you know the one , we all have it , the one that reads ” i ought to clean the house, empty the dishwasher, change the bed sheets, mow the lawn, jet wash the drive, put the washing out (that has sat in the basket for 2 days and probably needs washing again as it is going mouldy), the, i ought to bath the dog, clean the windows, wash the car, fold the washing that is strewn all over the spare room floor, make endless phone calls to insurance places and chase up on all that shit .re decorate the house , finish renovating the laundry, deck, paint back deck. go to coles, get dinner on, sort out endless signing of permission slips so winny can be allowed to do something else at school that doesn’t involve education!! AND THAT IS JUST THE HOUSE..

then begins the I OUGHT TO LIST at the studio.. Well that is just endless. i ought to paint the walls. finish those 5 paintings including a huge mural i started with great enthusiasm in November last year, finish painting all the old furniture. i ought to write my blog, I ought to write my newsletter, i ought to do up my fliers and get them to the printers then to the man who delivers them,. i ought to write up all the events and workshops i have coming up on facebook, i ought to chase up after school kids to get them in the art after school. I ought to reply to all the comments people have left me on facebook, messenger, email and whatsap with regards to events and classes, i need to write up letters for speeches and get in touch with community services and return their urgent calls. i ought to sort out and clean my storeroom, make orders, sort out graffitt event. etc. etc. etc.

I ought to be a better mother, wife , friend , i ought to be doing meditation every day ,listening to my angels, trusting the universe, listening to well meaning words from loved ones. practising what i preach.
i ought to be a better daughter and be there for my mum in the UK as she goes through huge things with illnesses and hospitals stuff.
I ought to fucking stop and breath and look around me more from time to time and smell the roses.
I could go on and on and on, but i am sure i am boring you all by now.
I sat down to write to you all , but this has just spilled out.
i know each and every one of us on here HAS THIS LIST i know i am not alone in this, so i am not looking for sympathy, i know what i need to do, stop, take time out, (haha never gonna happen with rent to pay)
i’m just having a fuckity fuck fuck day and wanted to winge at you all haha.

i have run so many small business in the past, but having a physical premises and the HUGE undertaking of that, is to be honest the HARDEST FUCKING THING i have ever taken on….

I love you all and i am thinking of you as we all battle our own ‘ought to do lists”today, while we run our businesses, run our homes, try and be there for our kids and not miss a beat. be good wives and daughters.